Am I Okay?

I felt okay the last few weeks, but today I feel a bit weird. I know it will go away, but why do I feel like crying when everything in my life is great? I have two amazing jobs, and an amazing guy who loves me, and I can’t shake this empty feeling. There’s a pit in the very bottom of my stomach that always seems to cave in once I had thought it was full. Dirt crumbles in and out of it as I relax, then struggle to breathe. I’m kneeling down on the bathroom floor at work just waiting for it to pass by, closing my eyes until it’s over. Sometimes it passes, but sometimes it lingers on like a foul odour grasping at the back of my throat. ‘Daisies, daisies, you fill me up with daisies,’ but I keep plucking each petal until there are only grey stems that remain. Why can’t I stop peeling away the flowers and let things be? I’m pinned down by the weaknesses of myself, when I know for damn sure all this thinking is pointless. All these drawn-out feelings and sunken eyes dripping salt water. I am better than this, and I know that I felt fine yesterday. Today is just an off day, and we can just accept that. I’ll ball today up in my fists and move on, breathe.

Using Format