The Rumors Are Back

The lies you tell yourself 

Spread around the crevasses of your brain

The ones that say you’re not enough

It’s ridiculous to expect everyone to love you

Ridiculous to expect everyone to like you even

Crumpled up inside my ears are lists of things I know to be false

But somehow these post-it notes demand that they’re real

I’m not enough

I’ll never be enough

I just need to get outside my head

Squish my skull with my fists 

Throw it in the trash

The warranty is up

Did I even get one?

I thought it was never going to break

Too many scratches on the flesh of my scalp

Too many cracks in my brittle bones

Wash the grime away

Scrubbing my skin with steel wool and bleach

Stop

It’s not outside 

It’s inside

Coat my lungs with Lysol

Powder my heart with nostalgia

Rinse my bones 

Place each one in the dishwasher

Unzip my skin 

Put it in a zip lock

Drycleaners special

And my brain…

Fuck my brain